I’ve never been to a Memorial Service before, so flying to London to speak at the Lincoln’s Inn service for the late Sir Robert Megarry, my father, to a congregation of over 150 distinguished lawyers, friends and family was triply terrifying: concern about the journey timing, the imperative for self-control, and the total lack of any precedent in my lifetime. Unlike at the family funeral when I spoke about him from my heart, this time I had only to read somebody else’s words: Bessie Stanley’s essay on Success.
Five months after his death, this was a much less difficult task than speaking at his funeral. But in nearly 60 years of making myself, from time to time, do some bold things, I had never been so terrified. An hour later, even after uplifting music from the choir and Susan Anderson singing Dido's Lament, I was still hyperventilating, dry-mouthed with heart thumping, despite no physical exertion, no altitude challenge, no rational explanation. Only after the second glass of wine did my nervous system begin to calm a little.
The event took place in Lincoln’s Inn yesterday, and the Chapel was full, with people standing at the back. Bryan Garner, who edited my father’s book A New Miscellany-at-Law (published when R.E.M. was 95 years old), had flown in from Texas to read an extract – about arbitration by hen turkey. Sir Martin Nourse gave the main address, which was comprehensive, erudite and wonderfully affectionate. There were representatives of his old school, Lancing College, and thanks to its website, anybody can soon read what Sir Martin said online. The service was a grand finale to R.E.M.'s 96 years, and the whole family is grateful to the Inn and all who took part. All of us who were there joined together to celebrate his remarkable life.